Over the years, I’ve had to give many sales reps the bad news that they didn’t get the business they were trying to get. It’s always interesting to see their reaction. It really shows their character.

Taken from reactions I’ve actually received, here’s what not to do:

• Don’t get mad. Really? Get mad? Is that supposed to make me change my mind? This reaction, more than anything, confirms that my decision was correct.
• A close second: don’t act like a petulant child. Don’t complain in a whiny voice that you didn’t get a fair chance.
• Don’t try to argue that I made the wrong choice. It only makes me push back harder.
• On the other hand, don’t just walk away meekly. I do expect to receive a selling pitch. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

What you should do:

• Thank me for the opportunity.
• Ask me how I came to my decision. Respectfully probe my answers so you can figure out how you might have done better.
• Point out where I might have gotten a wrong impression.
• Follow up with a handwritten note.
• Stay in touch, but don’t be a pest. Send me information from time to time that you think will help me.
• Remember, play the long game. You may get another chance. Even if you don’t fit my needs, if I respect you and understand your capabilities, I might have a chance to refer you to someone else.